


Holding On

by OceanShay



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Gen, Song fic, anyway, its impossible for me to write happy song fics huh, of keeping it consistent and not whatever s2 was holy shit, or happy peaky blinders fics in general, we're ignoring all of her canon s2 characterization in favor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-20 17:31:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21060482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceanShay/pseuds/OceanShay
Summary: Sad Grace Burgess focused song fic, imagining what her emotions were when she ran off to America at the end of the first season. I really didn't like her season 2 characterization AT ALL so I'm just throwing that in the garbage. The song I used was Hold Me by the Sweeplings! It's really pretty and sad I would definitely recommend listening to it





	Holding On

_ Take me by the hand, lead me to a place where _

_ Slowly back and forth, moonlight dances on the water _

Grace turned with the music, dancing to herself in the bedroom. She hadn’t had anything to do all day because her husband was at work, like he was almost every day. They didn’t really spend much time together as she wanted. 

Ever since she had moved to America, she had felt a sense of loss within her. Maybe it was the lack of excitement that she had gotten from running with the police and the Peaky Blinders. Or maybe it was that she was never meant for a domesticated life that she was living now. 

_ It's only you and me there, through the rise and fall _

Inevitably her thoughts drifted back to Tommy. A strong man who was missing something within himself. A missing sense of companionship and solidarity with other people outside of his family. Grace tried many times to get him to open up about his feelings but he was adamant about keeping everyone locked out of his thoughts. 

There were rare occasions when he would open up to Grace about something, normally nothing large. He had to keep the business secrets after all. Sometimes she felt it was just to see how she would react to what he would say, gauge her trustworthiness. But she didn’t care. It felt nice to try and connect with him in that way. 

_ Won't you hold me while the waves sing us to sleep _

_ Won't you hold me while the waves rock us gently _

Sometimes, Grace would think of Tommy as her rock, holding her in a reality that so often drifted away from her. Even though he was often ungrounded himself, it helped to have his voice and his thoughts to pull her back down when she was stressed or upset or going through any number of emotions. 

His deep, dark voice that rang throughout her body whenever she thought about it. 

_ Feel the sway beneath our feet, won't you hold, just hold me _

She missed it sometimes. 

_ Listen to the hum, of silence getting closer _

_ Feel your every breath, nothings meant to last forever _

Grace took a deep breath and closed her eyes, sitting down on the edge of her bed. So many things had happened on that bed that she wasn’t proud of. Even though she was married to the banker whose name she barely knew or remembered, it felt like she was cheating on him with Tommy, her thoughts always drifting to him during their love making or date nights. 

He was a drug she couldn’t get enough of, but had stopped herself cold when she felt she needed it most. 

_ It's only you and me there, till the darkness calls _

A tear slid down her cheek as she thought of all the moments they shared together in their brief fling. While she was spying on him for her uncle. While she was supposed to be faking her feelings but they grew into something real. While she knew that Tommy would probably never reciprocate them in the same degree. 

_ Won't you hold me while the waves sing us to sleep _

_ Won't you hold me while the waves rock us gently _

Everything came crashing down on her at once and she brought her head down to her hands as the sobs overtook her. 

_ Feel the sway beneath our feet, won't you hold, just hold me _

She felt the ghost of his arms wrap around her as her sobs continued to ring out in the empty bedroom. 

_ Let's face the dawn together, we'll brave whatever comes _

The phone rang. She didn’t get up. 

_ Let's face the dawn together, we'll brave whatever comes _

It continued for a minute. When she picked up the phone finally the first thing she heard was her name. 

_ Let's face the dawn together, we'll brave whatever comes _

A sob escaped her as she tried to answer. Was she hallucinating his voice or was he really on the other end? 

_ Let's face the dawn together, we'll brave whatever comes _

“Grace? Are you okay dear?” 

_ Won't you hold me while the waves sing us to sleep _

“Yeah. I’m…. I’m fine. How’s work honey?” 

_ Won't you hold me while the waves rock us gently _

A sense of disappointment and relief flooded through her as her husband talked about his day, letting her just nod along and use small vocal interjections to let him know she was still there. 

She didn’t really care about what he had to say. He would be leaving for a business trip she couldn’t go with him for is all that she processed before she put the phone down and went to the bathroom. 

_ Feel the sway beneath our feet, won't you hold, just hold me _

She closed the door, and let her emotions take over again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading all the way through! I haven't written Peaky Blinders in a hot minute but it felt nice to write this? I really liked Grace's character in the first season and wish that she got better in s2 and the part that she was in for s3. The show writers really did her dirty like that huh. Anyway, remember to leave comments and kudos on your favorite works! That's what really encourages fan content creators to keep making new stuff!


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